Amazon TOS Now Covers the Zombie Apocalypse

Amazon TOS Now Covers the Zombie Apocalypse

Now game developers who are working with Amazon’s new Lumberyard Materials can truly help out in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. The Amazon TOS now covers the Zombie Apocalypse.

So, while in normal times developers must not write game software to be used militarily, this rule is dropped during the Zompoc.

Clause 57.10 of the AWS terms of service:

The Lumberyard Materials are not intended for use with life-critical or safety-critical systems, such as use in operation of medical equipment, automated transportation systems, autonomous vehicles, aircraft or air traffic control, nuclear facilities, manned spacecraft, or military use in connection with live combat.

However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.

Gotta love this! But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Why not have game software developers help the military after the Zompoc, when all other bets are off?

Yet another reason to love Amazon. And maybe another plot addition to ZKS?

(photo by Gage Skidmore)

Zombie Apocalypse – Best Place to Hide?

zombie apocalypse

Hiding will be hard after the Zombie Apocalypse.

According to CBS News, researchers at Cornell University have published a report finding that the Rocky Mountains are the best place in the United States to hide during/after the Zombie Apocalypse.

Big cities like New York, not so much.

In “The Statistical Mechanic of Zombies”, which will be presented this week at the American Physical Society meeting in San Antonio, TX, researchers looked at

a full scale simulation of an outbreak in the United States, and discover that for ‘realistic’ parameters, we are largely doomed,” the study’s abstract said.

“Modeling zombies takes you through a lot of the techniques used to model real diseases, albeit in a fun context,” Cornell physics graduate student Alex Alemi told Phys.org.

The research team used various equations factoring in population and rate-of-infection to determine how and where a fictional zombie outbreak would spread across the U.S.

Basically, densely populated areas will go first after the zombie apocalypse, giving less populated areas a chance to prepare. The northern Rockies will do the best.

To us, the difference in Manhattan is that it is an island, so once you cut off all access by blowing up bridges and tunnels, no more new zombies wandering in.

And you have enormous buildings with great infrastructure, including alternative energy sources and uber-security.

Zombie Killing Stoners is set in one such building in lower Manhattan near the Brooklyn Bridge. Totally secure, with lots of infrastructure and tenants who are both well heeled and well armed.

We find that situation to be much more interesting. Hope you do too.

Now You Can Buy A Zombie-proof Log Cabin

zombie-proof log cabin

Lucky UK residents can buy a Zombie-proof Log Cabin for less then $100,000 (inc. shipping and VAT). It comes with a 10 year guarantee!

The folks at Tiger Log Cabins have developed a Zombie-proof Log Cabin, the ZFC-1 (Zombie Fortification Cabin).

According to Tiger Log Cabins, the ZFC-1 features:

  • 10 YEAR ANTI ZOMBIE GUARANTEE*.

  • Upper deck with 360deg vantage point + escape hatch

  • Re-enforced slit windows, walls and doors

  • Barbed wire surround

  • Arsenal storage unit for weaponry

  • Garden Section to grow vegetables

  • Toilet System

  • Kitchen Area with Microwave

  • Living area with TV, Xbox and Sound system Turntables

The three separate buildings that make up the cabin are built from square-cut interlocking planed and finished logs, tightly fit to make it almost impossible for anything to get in (moisture, wind, zombies) and very difficult to climb.

The price includes furniture, appliances, weight machines, lights, TV, XBox, and even a sound system with turntables. You supply your arsenal, food, installation, and other electronics.

Here is a video that explains more. We just need to get them shipping to the US and Canada!

 

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse with Pilates

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse requires Pilates skills, one of which is physical fitness.

With the new season of Walking Dead about to begin, my google alerts are once again becoming inundated with articles on how to prepare for the coming Zombie Apocalypse (Zompoc).

English: Staff Sgt. Aron Reyes, U.S. Army Forc...
English: Staff Sgt. Aron Reyes, U.S. Army Forces Command, pushes through the Army Physical Fitness Test on Sept. 30, during the 2009 Department of the Army’s Best Warrior Competition at Fort Lee, Va. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And while we have written a couple of fun novels about how urban folks band together to survive, we are also extremely aware of what skills we all really do need to survive any kind of emergency situation.

At base, we need to be physically fit to survive. We need Pilates.

See, Joseph Pilates was a survivor. He grew up in pre-WWI Germany with rickets, asthma, and a weird last name that sounded suspiciously like Pontius Pilate. Kids made fun of him.

So he studied the history of physical fitness and pulled out what worked.

Good thing.

When Joseph Pilates was interned as an enemy alien by the British, he was able to keep himself and the men who exercised with him healthy. They survived. They did what we now know to be Pilates mat, which then started with jumping jacks, squats and lunges. And ended with planks and push ups.

If your body is weak and imbalanced, you will not survive.

If your back goes out, you will not survive.

If you are so tight that bending over hurts, you will not survive.

If your powerhouse is weak, so that you cannot lift heavy objects or support another person’s weight, you will not survive.

You see, surviving the Zombie Apocalypse requires strength, flexibility, and functionality on multiple levels. So does Pilates.

We maintain that doing Pilates will increase your chances of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.

Try it!

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner

In the new movie, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner, pot smoke is the answer to the Zompoc!

Of course marijuana smoke cures Zombies! It cures just about everything.

Here is the trailer for the very silly movie in the title – The Coed and the Zombie Stoner – where love and marijuana save the day.

Works for us!

httpv://youtu.be/kwONtUsh42c

Can You Kill A Zombie With A Bong?

Can you kill a zombie with a bong?

In Zombie Killing Stoners, we kill zombies in many interesting ways with lots of cool weapons – fasthawks, knives, swords, guns, golf clubs, etc.

But in general, we keep the stoner recreational items out of the killing fray.

Could it happen that we would need to use a bong to kill a zombie? I suppose it could.

Can you kill a zombie with a bong? Here is what happens when the bong meets the zombie head.

httpv://youtu.be/4wz0bZWu9Kk

Zompoc Stoner Survival Rules – Cardio

Zompoc Stoner Survival Rules – Cardio is king!

I decided to revisit the first rule of Zompoc stoner survival – the importance of cardio.

Seriously, you will need to be able to run, and possibly need to run up and/or down stairs, ramps, and even bridges and tunnels. If you cannot walk fast without panting, I highly recommend starting a cardio program today! Zompoc Stoner Survival is key!

Here are the Zombie Stoners, Christian and Zelda, discussing the importance of cardio to their continued survival after the Zompoc.

httpv://youtu.be/LLxG-Zo2JO4