Zombies Taking Over the World

Zombies Take Over the World?

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12, 2019: 19:30 EDT

English: Zombies
English: Zombies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The entire Korean Peninsula has been overrun by what are now being called ‘Zombies’. As many U.S. citizens, military personnel and their dependents as possible have been evacuated. There is no official word on the number of casualties are estimated to be in the thousands. The Pentagon says that it may take months to get an accurate count of the dead and missing.

There are now confirmed ‘Zombie’ outbreaks all across Southeast Asia, China, Russia, Japan, India, Central Asia, The Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Johannesburg went silent two hours ago. Great Britain has sealed its borders and implemented Martial Law.

Vice President Limbaugh has recalled U.S. forces and Embassy staff from all postings around the world. He wants to reassure the American People that he will fight this evil threat to our way of life and asks us to join him in praying for God’s guidance through these turbulent times.

Zombies or North Korean Uprising?

Zombies or A North Korean Uprising?

MONDAY, JUNE 10, 2019: 11:38 EDT

Speaking on behalf of President Romney, who is still on his honeymoon yachting somewhere off the coast of the South of France, Press Secretary Crawford Turdoler confirmed that the government of North Korea has indeed begun what appears to be mass open-air executions of its rioting citizens in the capital and surrounding areas. At the same time he said it was apparent that the rioters were overrunning many of the North Korean Army’s positions and, large numbers of the North Korean troops at these positions were even joining the rioters. He also expressed grave concern for the people of South Korea because satellite images show North Koreans streaming towards the border in huge numbers.

Secretary Turdoler declined to speculate on the implications of this apparent uprising against the regime of Im Dong-in, but said that both the South Korean and U.S. military have been put on heightened alert.

Asked when President Romney would be returning to Washington to address this highly unusual situation unfolding on the Korean peninsula, Secretary Turdoler stated that “the President doesn’t feel that the situation required his direct attention at this time and has chosen to continue his stay aboard his personal yacht and enjoy being a new husband and father. He has all confidence in Vice-President Limbaugh’s ability to guide the American People through what was obviously an uprising by the oppressed North Corleone people against a cruel ungodly regime.”

The administration later issued an apology for mistaking the fictional leader of the Mafia family’s name for the country of North Korea.

Zombie Killing Stoners – North Korea

Zombies in North Korea?

MONDAY, JUNE 10, 2019: 09:56 EDT

English: area map of Pyongyang Category:North ...
English: area map of Pyongyang Category:North Korea (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This disturbing news just in from CNN’s Seoul, South Korea office.

Sources in North Korea tell us that there have been unconfirmed reports of numerous violent attacks involving the attackers viciously biting the victims. These reports also say that the North Korean Army has been mobilized to put down several unprecedented riots in and around the capital of Pyongyang.

Another unconfirmed report out of Pyongyang alleges that the army had commenced firing into the crowds without any advanced warnings, but that perhaps many of the soldiers were using blanks or rubber bullets because so few of the rioting crowd were killed or wounded.

Once again we want to emphasize that these reports are from unofficial sources and are unconfirmed.

We will keep you, our viewers updated on these interesting developments as soon as more information becomes available.

Next up on CNN: President Romney’s ex-wife, former First Lady Ann Davies Romney and her attorney Gloria Allred comment on the first pictures of President Romney and First Lady Kim K.’s baby girl, Kismetia Krystal Kardashian Romney. You won’t want to miss this.
We’ll be right back.

Zombie Killing Stoners – Prologue Part 1

Zombie Killing Stoners by C. Che Bhalin & Professor B.T. Mienoré

Sit back folks, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em, and enjoy a tale of Homeric proportions about the end of the world. We start at the beginning of a Herculean endeavor by a group of the most unlikely of Argonauts that chance could have assembled to claim their piece of ground and thrive. These were everyday people thrown together, facing, and eventually fighting back against the unfathomable menace of the newly dead returning from their everlasting slumber to feast upon the flesh of the living. Everyday people loosely guided by three unwilling Paladins against the pitiless dead and the remnants of a government and society chewing its own self to death.

God and Country were not players, as both had abandoned mankind. The cavalry was not coming to save the day, and the timer would not magically stop at the very last second. Mighty Mouse had other things to save that day.

This is what happened when the fecal matter impacted with the rapidly revolving atmospheric volume accelerator.