Free Zombie Story & We Are On Smashwords!

Free zombie story

Free Zombie Story & We Are On Smashwords!

It is the giving season, and instead of going out and giving our money away to companies, we are instead giving back to you, our lovely and always appreciated readers.

Click here to download your free Zombie story from Zombie Killing Stoners, Episode 2.

If you enjoy the story (and we think you will), consider buying the books. In addition to Amazon, we are also available on Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, and other retailers.

C Che is working as we speak on Episode 3. This has been a long time coming, and we will keep you posted about publishing dates and such.

Enjoy!free zombie story

 

 

Meet Juniper Peanut-Darlin’

Juniper

I realized this weekend that I haven’t updated this blog in almost six months. So I wanted to reassure you that C. Che and I are still here – We Are Not Zombies!

Meet Juniper Peanut-Darlin’

When Miss Smiley passed away in January, we were devastated! When I saw the ads for Adoptapalooza at Union Square park in April, where the corporate sponsors cover all adoption fees, 100I put it on the calendar.

C. Che didn’t want to go and kept coming up with excuses. I ignored him, and we are both happy that I did!

When we moved to Turks and Caicos, Miss Smiley adopted us. She just started showing up regularly and insistently until we took her in full time. C. Che wanted that to happen here.

So, we showed up at Union Square at the start time, landlord and vet references in hand and two others ready to call. And at the Posh Pets Rescue table this little girl leaped into C. Che’s arms in a full-on front hug. He put her down and she jumped on me. And so it went.

Her name is Juniper and she was rescued from dog meat butchers in Thailand by Soi Dog. The butchers like the dogs to be scared, because it flavors the meet, so the dogs are basically tortured – kept packed in tiny cages, starved, and often skinned alive while the other dogs listen and watch. She is 5 years old, 30#, scarred everywhere, totally scared, and sweet as can be.

Four and a half month later, with tons of love and great training from Tasha Bute, she is calmer and we are totally in love. We have discovered some old injuries that cause some chronic pain and that she takes stress into her guts (the canine version of human colitis and IBS), but all told, she is wonderful!

Follow her on Instagram @juniperpeanut.

 

You and Your Bong Will Love Piece Water

Your Bong Needs Piece Water!

Ever since the advent of medical marijuana in the US, delivery systems have gotten more complex. Instead of smoking a joint, bowl, or bong, now we have concentrates, pens, dabs, edibles….

But C Che and I are old school, preferring a nice bong hit on our lovely 9″ glass Roor.

Now, bongs are not the cleanest things in the world. They smell, resin and tar build up in the bong and any component parts, and quite a bit of particulate matter comes up through the water (which is a problem if you are a stoner with asthma, like C Che). We end up using iso alcohol to get our piece clean, which can be intense but better than the poisonous “bong cleaners” you can buy.

A couple of weeks ago our good friends at Stuff Stoners Like did a Piece Water review and giveaway, and we won!

We were so skeptical, for no reason. Piece Water worked so well, on so many levels, that we immediately ordered three 12oz. bottles.

Piece Water solves every bong issue! All of them.

Piece Water is All Natural

Unlike iso alcohol and other caustic cleaners, Piece Water is all natural. It is water blended with fruit, mineral, and vegetable extracts. We poured it into a measuring cup, and it left a slight film on the glass. It is slightly thicker than water, completely odorless, and tasteless.

Just Rinse Your Bong Clean With Water

Instead of spending lots of time soaking, shaking, and scrubbing your bong, with Piece Water you just pour out the contents and rinse your bong with warm water. Seriously, that’s it! No build up on the sides or on the stem.

Less Smell

bongI don’t know about you, but I hate stinky bong water. Normally we change the water at least once a day just to handle smell and build-up.

We decided to really push things, letting the bong go close to three days without a change (over 125 hits, my friends). Not only did the water still not smell too bad, but there was no build-up.

 

Cleaner Smoke

This was the most surprising for us, and ultimately the reason why we immediately ordered more Piece Water. With his asthma, C Che normally coughs a lot when he smokes, and ends up coughing up a lot of the particulate.

In the first use, he noticed a huge difference – smoother hits, and much less coughing up of particulate. And this was true even when the water looked like this after a few days!

I noticed a difference too. Less particulate means I can take bigger hits and hold them longer without coughing, leading to a more satisfying experience.

Having to go back to regular water for a few days was a huge bummer! Luckily Piece Water’s free shipping is USPS Priority Mail, so we had it in two business days.

Piece Water Is Cost Effective

Piece Water comes in 12oz. bottles, and the best deal is 3 @ $25. Our globe-bottomed 9″ Roor takes 3oz. and we like to change it every other day, so this lasts us a little over three weeks. Not bad at all!

Zombie Killing Stoners love Piece Water!

Amazon TOS Now Covers the Zombie Apocalypse

Amazon TOS Now Covers the Zombie Apocalypse

Now game developers who are working with Amazon’s new Lumberyard Materials can truly help out in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. The Amazon TOS now covers the Zombie Apocalypse.

So, while in normal times developers must not write game software to be used militarily, this rule is dropped during the Zompoc.

Clause 57.10 of the AWS terms of service:

The Lumberyard Materials are not intended for use with life-critical or safety-critical systems, such as use in operation of medical equipment, automated transportation systems, autonomous vehicles, aircraft or air traffic control, nuclear facilities, manned spacecraft, or military use in connection with live combat.

However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.

Gotta love this! But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Why not have game software developers help the military after the Zompoc, when all other bets are off?

Yet another reason to love Amazon. And maybe another plot addition to ZKS?

(photo by Gage Skidmore)

RIP Miss Smiley (Best Dog Ever)

RIP Miss Smiley (Best Dog Ever)

Miss Smiley was 13 years old, and we had her for 11 of those years.

I remember well the day I met her. C Che had moved to Providenciales, Turks and Caicos Islands, several weeks before me. One night he told me about this Potcake stray who was showing up at our house every night.

“The first night I thought she was going to bite me. All I saw were these teeth! But then, I noticed that her tail was wagging. She wasn’t getting ready to attack – she was smiling!”

Then I came, and she did the same thing.

“Don’t you give that dog any smoked turkey breast! You know that will make it keep coming back!”

He didn’t listen.

The dog kept coming back.

And one evening she rolled on her back in front of our three cats. That’s right, that alpha dog rolled on her back in front of our cats. Isabel, our smallest and oldest cat, was the alpha (see Smiley waiting for Isabel to finish drinking at Smiley’s bowl below – the cats had their own, which you can see).

izandsmiley

I decided then and there to keep her. Thanks to Susan Blehr and the TCSPCA for the help and support (this pre-dated Potcake Place).

We socialized her, boarded her, and groomed her at Donna Doran’s Pampered Paws dog spa. And ultimately Donna organized Smiley’s travel to the US, where the lovely folks at The Wagging Tail welcomed her.

From a stray on Providenciales, to play dates with celebrity dogs on Parrot Cay, to life in a NYC skyscraper. Smiley loved life throughout. She knew nothing but love and how to give and receive love. Just sweetness.

DSC00025.JPG

When we moved to New York, started writing Zombie Killing Stoners, and started getting the then 8 year old Miss Smiley some top notch medical care (thanks to Healthy Paws pet insurance and Seaport Animal Hospital), we discovered some things about her health. She had Cushing’s disease caused by a tumor on her pituitary gland, protein-losing kidney disease, high blood pressure, a heart murmor, chronic hepatitis, and an “undefined mass” in her abdomen. She was on $1000/month worth of medication (thanks again, Healthy Paws!).

Then the tumor in her paw started growing aggressively, at the same time as the pituitary tumor. She experienced balance issues, dementia, and was in a lot of pain (Ultram and Neurontin for pain).

IMG_20160126_130249That last big snow we had? That was Smiley’s snow. She loved it and had a great day! We scheduled her euthanasia that Wednesday.

We brought her roast chicken, cooked her omelets, and I bought her that McDonald’s burger and fries she had been trying for years to eat on the street. Look at her tail!

We walked her to the vet. We laid on the floor with her. Dr. Klafin came in to administer the medications. C Che was able to feel when her heart stopped beating.

RIP Miss Smiley.

Marijuana Munchies

marijuana munchies

Marijuana Munchies

Many people, such as cancer patients, use marijuana precisely to increase their appetites and gain weight. Other folks need to control their marijuana munchies to maintain or lose weight.  The Munchies is one of the most famous and often reported effects of cannabis.

Why does cannabis cause increased appetite?

This has to do with how the human brain reacts to the consumption of Cannabis, setting off a chain reaction that leads to an urgent desire for food. There is actually a specific cannabinoid receptor that increases hunger.

Basically, there is a hunger switch in our brains that is triggered when we ingest THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the substance that is responsible for the euphoric effect of the plant. This happens whether we smoke a joint, use a vaporizer, or eat some food that contains THC.

What is interesting is that marijuana actually stimulates a very specific receptor in a group of neurons that are typically in charge of limiting our appetite. But, when the CB1 receptors are stimulated by THC, the neurons work in the opposite way and increase our appetite. In addition, after Cannabis use our blood-sugar levels drop, and that also causes an increased appetite.

What if I need to lose weight?

Now, if you are trying to lose weight, as I am, this effect of cannabis can be a problem.

Here are some ideas of how you can control yourself when you have the munchies:

  • Add some honey and lemon to a pitcher of warm water. Adding ginger, or mint can make the cocktail even more tasty. Can drink warm or iced.
  • If you absolutely have to eat something other than a regular meal, try to replace junk food with healthier alternatives. Instead of fried chips try baked chips, popcorn, or rice crackers. Instead of candy, try fruit or lower calorie, natural yogurt.
  • Brush your teeth right after smoking marijuana. This will reduce your appetite by leaving a taste of minty freshness in your mouth.

Zombie Nativity Scene Approved

Zombie Nativity Scene

The Infamous Zombie Nativity Scene of Ohio Has Finally Been Approved

We are so thankful to live in New York City, where people are generally pretty tolerant of their neighbors. In fact, I could see any fun take on a Nativity Scene going over well here, where people have a sense of humor.

Things haven’t gone so well for Jasen Dixon in the suburbs of Cincinnati, OH. For two years his awesome Zombie Nativity Scene has met with a cold reaction from so-called Christian neighbors and the County Clerk’s Office. Claiming that the scene was too large, the township fined Dixon $500 per day.

That is over now, as the township has approved the Christmas decoration! Yay!

In addition, religious groups in the area are still leaving messages. Some indicate that “God frowns upon this manger scene” and that any child of God would understand.

All of this is documented on the Zombie Nativity Scene Facebook page. That is also where the image came from.

Frankly, we here at Zombie Killing Stoners love a good joke, and this Zombie Nativity is so obviously done with humor that we can’t even imagine someone being offended. Seriously people, get a sense of humor!

Here is more about the Zombie Nativity Scene controversy: